la vie en rose

Are you ready? Are you excited? Tonight The Office is back!

Michael: Thank you very much sir! You are a gentleman and a scholar. ...Oh. I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. My mistake. ...That was a woman I was talking to. She has a very low voice. Probably a smoker.
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Ryan: Do you know if shes looking for something long-term or if she'd be cool just hangin' out?
Jim: I have no idea.
Ryan: Could ya find out?
Jim: ...Yeah. Sure.
[later]
Kelly: Oh, long-term definitely. Fall in love, have babies, spend every second together. But don't tell him that, okay? Just tell him I'm like up for anything. I mean, I'm not a slut, but who knows?

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Michael: Alright let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five years old. Couldn't even talk yet.

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Andy: You need to set me up with her. I know she told you that she's looking, and she's totally not responding to my moves.
Pam: What moves?
Andy: I've moonwalked past accounting like ten times.

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Michael: I love inside jokes. Love to be a part of one someday.

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Angela: I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.

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Dwight: Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check-in time in now, check-out time is never.
Jim: Does my room have cable?
Dwight: No. And the sheets are made of fire.
Jim: Can I change rooms?
Dwight: Sorry we're all booked up. Hell convention in town.
Jim: Can I have a late check-out?
Dwight: I'll have to talk to the manager.
Jim: You're not the manager, even in your own fantasy?
Dwight: I'm the owner.. the co-owner. With Satan!
Jim: Okay, just so I understand it. In your wildest fantasy, you are in hell and you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil.
Dwight: But I haven't told you my salary yet.
Jim: Go.
Dwight: Eighty thousand dollars.