I read this post on Light Refreshments Served and I wanted to share, as this addresses one of my biggest pet peeves in the world - a general lack of confidence among women.
Stop the Madness
If I could pass one thing on to my daughter, it would be that she love herself enough to stand up for herself, enough to feel beautiful, smart, talented, and capable of taking on anything.
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6 comments:
I know I am beautiful and smart and talented and amazing and funny and capable of taking on anything and I know what I want and perfect...oh is that going a little far :)
Did you totally agree with the post?
Because I still kinda have issues over what she said and ESPECIALLY with the comments posted to it.
Women who still find it a necessity to tell their pant size even when they got married? As if to say that that was one of the reasons they were attractive to their husband? I think she could have left that out and her message would have still be just as effective.
To be comfortable in your own skin. (And I don't mean size...to just be cool with yourself and how you go about life!)
That is what I am working towards. And I think alot of peace can come from that. I just don't think some of the commenters really "got" what she was saying. I didn't get the sense that they are comfortable in their own skin or they wouldn't have found the need to say what works best for them or to let everyone know what their pant size used to be! She wasn't asking commenters for their best marriage counseling advice nor for others to toot their horns about how great their husbands-all of that just leads to that competition that is so prevalent among women-especially LDS women! I still felt like the comments were exactly what she was trying to show-that women need the traits that you want to pass on to your little gal.
I am glad I read it though. It sure has me thinking-if you can't tell. And I am glad Austin has never placed value on my size-at any stage of our relationship!
okay-I just went back and re-read that post and she was opening it up for a discussion about marriage tips-but I am still annoyed with the tone of the tips.
It still seemed very-"I have the perfect relationship". Come on. Don't use words like every and always. Everyone has a bad day.
And I still think we need more people who are comfortable with who they are!
I didn't pick up on the pants size thing, and I didn't read the comments, either. I was just struck by her thoughts on how we as women grow up and forget what we were taught when we were younger - that we all have something unique to bring to the world and to be the best people that we know how. And also about comparing our husbands to some Edward Cullen fantasy - I liked her line that her husband wasn't perfect, but that he was perfect for her. Sometimes I am just hit with the thought that J is so great and how well we get along. I don't want some fictional love machine because what I have is perfect for me. That's what I got out of that post.
I think women forget what we are taught somewhere along the line and it is so sad. We teach kids to accept everyone and I tell Rach all the time that true love is when he loves you for you and RESPECTS you and I tell her that if someone likes her for looks alone then to run and hide. But really I'd rather she kick him first!
What I don't like is how women continually need to let people know why their husbands are so great and perfect and justify it by adding a "perfect for me" bit to the end. They are still tooting their horn to some degree and still use it as some platform to let people know that they really think their husbands are better then others. And that they were once skinny. I guess if it was worded as "my husband does great things just like I know other husbands do" and " I used to look younger and probably better but he loves me just the same" then I wouldn't even be having this need to type all of this out!
We all know spouses are perfect for us or we wouldn't have picked them in the first place! ARRRRGH.
Geez. I am really on one.
P.S. I went and saw Twilight at the dollar theater tonight with the lady from church I saw it with the first time. It was even better the second time. But I don't buy into the whole Edward Cullen thing. I just think he is a good looking actor! I am too sassy of a girl to want some guy hanging on me like that! Plus I loved seeing the trees and hearing them say Kitsap County and seeing Rainier beer cans! I haven't been "home" in a really long time!
Interesting dialogue going on between you two with comments. Some good insight for me.
I have be known to say you kids were "perfect" then add,"perfect for me (someone took my line) and I have said that about dad as well and mean it every time.
The things you all have taught me and allowed me to learn and to experience have been for the good of the cause.
Let's keep or communication open and still learn from each other perfect or not.
MOM...
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